A Fevered Dictation

Rougeography: Party

2011-12-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

Eye Shadow in Toast 14 [$20]

'Stay All Day' Liquid Eye Liner in Black [$20]

Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Damned [$24]

A winter scarf [$75 via Chelsey]

Sturdy suede & leather heels [$370 via Chie Mihara]

A pair of gold bobby pins [$14 each via Emily Elizabeth Jewelry]

It's a bit mind-boggling how rapidly the months transition this time of the year, but I take solace knowing I will have a few, intimate holiday parties with friends and family to look forward to, much like the wonderfully sumptuous Thanksgiving dinner I attended a couple weeks ago courtesy of my cousins across the Golden Gate. I'm always keen on parties where we'll readily indulge ourselves in L.L. Bean wool sweaters, our hands wrapped around toasty mugs of cocoa as we congregate in front of a crackling fire, the cold snap patiently awaiting our reluctant venture outside...

Okay, okay perhaps the gatherings I share with family and friends are not exactly this Rockwellesque.¹ Still, I nevertheless stand firmly by the notion that any holiday party can be as equally charming and cozy - crackling fire or not - and getting ready for one is a vital part of the fun.

A winter palette draws from and delights in blunt contrasts: deep red wines juxtaposed against sparkling honey ciders; frosted sugar plums paired with warmed cinnamon sticks or creamy white eggnog. Makeup looks for these chilly months are incredibly flexible, and as usual, I composed a simple yet classic holiday scheme.

Eyes are polished with a liberal application of Bobbi Brown's Eye Shadow in Toast 14, a warm, light taupe with peachy undertones and hints of orange. Toast 14 blends seamlessly onto skin, and its feathery-soft texture renders it foolproof to initially tap on. This shade is one my favorites for quick, everyday eyes.

To complement the eyes with just a smidge of definition, I thinly line the entire length of the lids with Stila's Waterproof Eyeliner in Black. As I've mentioned in a previous Rougeography, applying this eyeliner is a breeze. Its matte finish never smudges and even lends an oddly natural feel to lines thickly pressed upon.

The gorgeous pièce de résistance of my holiday scheme is Nars' Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Damned. Nars' series of matte lip pencils are versatile in color range and never drying. Damned's finish is particularly a velveteen sheen, a dark cranberry red with a layer of neon magenta peaking through. Swipe one or two layers onto freshly scrubbed lips and enjoy color that lasts nearly six hours.

Tightly wrap up in a traditional scarf, slip on nicely-constructed suede heels, and slide in gold pins to side-swept hair to complete an unfussy look effortlessly wearable for any holiday party. I know I'll definitely don a cheery lip for both my grandmother's get-together in Palo Alto and my sister's Zainichi White Elephant party in Berkeley. I just know the color's wear will steadfastly last as I nosh on latkas or sushi!

¹I don't even own anything by L.L. Bean, hot cocoa tastes weird, fires are hot, and the cold can just shush.

Reassurances

2011-11-14T15:35:00.000-08:00

{Announcement: The title of my beauty reviews has been revised. I recently discovered a similarly named series from lovely blogger Dain of Ars Aromatica, and out of respect to her content, I became determined to create an original title that best fits my work. Many crumpled scraps of paper haphazardly strewn about my floor later, I can now present my portmanteau: Rougeography. Changes to navigation buttons are to soon follow...}

I've been terribly busy with editing, tutoring, and writing lately, and the lack of blog posts at A Fevered Dictation appropriately reflect this increasingly nutty schedule. I am still here however, and more Rougeographies are on their (slow, if not steady) way! If you'd like, as a token of my appreciation for your utter and eternal patience, here are some goodies to coo over and stuff.

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

Drew this lil' beast as a creative writing prompt for my 5th grade pupil. I had him write the creature's origins, general disposition, and its likes and dislikes. It was quite good. Made me yearn for a real Sniffledorbl. *sniff*

{Fig. 2 Image from personal collection, 2011}

From left to right: Deborah Lippmann's 'On a Clear Day' High-Gloss Top Coat, Deborah Lippmann's 'Ridge Filler' Base Coat, and Strangebeautiful's (unnamed) nail polish in a dark, olive brown.

{Fig. 3 Image from personal collection, 2011}

The result of my manicure after four days. The minimal wear and tear attest to how well Deborah Lippmann's Ridge Filler works because it truly acts as a stubborn glue to Strangebeautiful's color. I'm infatuated with the watery yet opaque quality of Strangebeautiful polishes, so I purchased two more colors at Anthropologie when they went on sale for $4.00.

{Fig. 4 Image from personal collection, 2011}

{Fig. 5 Image from personal collection, 2011}

This gorgeous, intricate hamsa pendant is 14K gold with a turquoise dewdrop in the center. I picked it up from a little Judaica jewelry shop in Jerusalem, and when I came home, I immediately bought a 14K gold plated chain and constructed it into a necklace with tiny iolite gemstones as subtle accents. The wire work on the stones was a tad difficult to manipulate, but definitely worth the effort to appear seamless. Along with my Magen David charm choker and ruby pearl necklace, this piece is on constant rotation.

Note: OWS & Veterans

2011-11-02T01:52:00.000-07:00

In light of the recent mess the Oakland Police Department incited at Occupy Oakland - where Iraq veteran Scott Olsen was hit on the head by a police projectile, subjected to a flash grenade while unconscious, and is currently recovering slowly at an undisclosed hospital - I think it's worthwhile to consider this growing trend of Iraq veterans acting as a tool of endorsement for the movement, especially within a larger framework of questioning authenticity and defining social awareness.

A search for "OWS Marines" or "OWS Veterans" on YouTube alone retrieves over 600 results. These videos usually feature Iraq veterans collectively protesting ineffectual government practices, vocally supporting OWS through interviews on traditional news media platforms, or even getting brutally arrested at OWS demonstrations.

Take, for instance, the viral video above. In it, Sgt. Shamar Thomas verbally engages a stone-faced and silent NYPD, insisting that his ribbons "don't lie" and admonishing the idea of police "hurting U.S. citizens". While his remarks are gut-hitting, Thomas should nevertheless be taken to task for what he is implying: that it is permissible to "hurt people" in Iraq but not "U.S. citizens"; that fighting in Iraq trumps police experience; that non-U.S. citizens or undocumented immigrants do not have a right to be "left alone". Sigh, and so forth.

Some veterans have pointed out that Thomas' ribbons actually signify his rank as a POG,¹ a detail negating any combat experience and subsequent credibility Thomas builds his impassioned arguments from. I don't agree with nor invest in any derailing pissing contests over whose voice is "real" and thus counts, but they exist anyway and sometimes for good reason. Hence, I do acknowledge that important details marking the presence of authenticity and expertise (or rather the lack thereof) are too often swept aside for their larger symbolic potential to serve an edgy soundbite.

But what is most troubling about digitally mediated narratives like Thomas' or Olsen's is this common script from producers and consumers alike that reads more like a tactic than a trend, and one that hinges on this patronizing element of surprise: an about-face² of veterans who were once dumb, trigger-happy drones and have finally become enlightened and socially aware.

Troubling because it's often not true. Many veterans had entertained abstracts like patriotism and duty when signing away four years, but were already well-aware of the material realities that plagued, and continue to plague, their neighborhoods, schools, and homes. For those who chose the military as an escape from domestic or gang violence, as an exit from poverty, or as a path towards a mostly subsidized healthcare system and education, the notion that veterans were hoodwinked and now realize the "truth" is, frankly, an insulting and pervasive stereotype, best portrayed here in this video that has nearly 25,000 views on YouTube:

This parody attempts to unveil the gritty, not-so-rosy picture of military life the Army obviously neglects to disclose in their own recruitment commercials, but it pathologizes veterans in the process. Its tone drips with condescending lines like "Side effects include sociopathic behavior and loss of ability to love", and though many servicemen and women have endured profoundly violent and terrible events, and that, as a result, will continuously grapple with it emotionally and/or physically for the rest of their lives, they are still goddamn humans. Veterans are not permanently broken, mindless, and heartless.

This parody doesn't mock the military industrial complex. It mocks those suckers who sign up and don't know any better and need edumacated folks to guide them to the "right" path. The video's producers fail in capturing the incredibly complex, nuanced experience of what it means to be in the military in a time of war - and especially in a war most, if not all, the international community considers illegal.

In this age of augmented reality, Iraq veterans hold this uniquely precarious position in which their status can be framed in myriad ways, and it all depends on who's framing. Thomas, to some, and perhaps to a sizable portion of the same kind of groups that occupy Wall Street today, had once essentially occupied Iraq. Upon his return to the states, however, he now occupies the 99%, succinctly demonstrated when he proudly itemizes the great military sacrifices in his family history for the camera.

But I'm not interested in what veterans like Thomas or Olsen did in Iraq or Afghanistan or choose to do politically after their stints in the military. Who they identify and work alongside with is, of course, entirely their decisions. However, watching those same veterans not only participate in a movement overwhelmingly and inherently defining itself against U.S. military policies (and by proxy, in resistance to those who carry them out as well) but also risk tokenism, complicit or otherwise,³ makes me uncomfortably wary.

In other words, it is unsettling to witness veterans - those who have earned the right to be active agents freely expressing political opinions and ideas after service - shift to mere slogans for the camera instead, their real cool fatigues and ribbons the appointed star of the show.

¹POG stands for "Person Other than Grunt", in which "grunt" refers to the infantry. It is often used pejoratively.
²Pun totally intended.
³Safe to assume Olsen didn't ask to be hit in the head.

Rougeography: Vichy & Clarins

2011-10-18T01:40:00.000-07:00

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

I used to abhor eye creams. At best they felt decadent, at worst they resembled snake oil. Eye creams meant an additional step in an already complicated skincare routine, and every brand I purchased would consistently result in teary eyes with blurred vision. When I first noticed faint crow's feet a couple years ago, however, I begrudgingly acknowledged a need for a product specifically targeted to treat the delicate skin around my eyes, complicated skincare routine notwithstanding. After conducting a thorough research,¹ I arrived at two excellent products: Vichy's Reti-C Eyes Intensive Corrective Care ($38.50) and Clarins' SPF 30 Sunscreen for Eyes Wrinkle Control Cream ($28.00).

Encased in a dense, clinically white tube, Vichy's Reti-C Eyes is formulated with Vitamin C and Retinol, two featured ingredients aimed to minimize and prevent lines and dark circles. Its fluid, white cream weighs in at 0.5 fl oz., and the skinny nozzle at the tip allows a perfectly controlled amount to be dispensed for both eye areas (approximately the size of a large bead). Although Retinol is generally mild in especially tiny doses,² and despite Reti-C Eyes advertised use for daytime, I nevertheless take precaution for possible sun sensitivity and wear this only before bed. To apply, I gingerly massage Reti-C Eyes with the pad of my ring finger until the white gradually disappears into my skin. The cream never travels during sleep, and the contours of my eyes always feel soft and nourished when I wake up.

When I do wake up in the morning, I promptly use Clarins' Sunscreen for Eyes to prep and shield my skin from any further sun damage. I bought this award-winning cream when a popular beauty editor recommended it herself, applauding its infusion of Senna, Olive, Pea, Plane Tree, and Baobab extracts to help soften wrinkles. Sunscreen for Eyes feels slightly heavier than Vichy's (I suspect it's their mineral filters), but their textures and coloring are otherwise the same. At 0.7 fl oz., its sunny orange bottle drives the message home, and I love how the finish of Sunscreen for Eyes is smooth and matte after patting an even, small dollop around the perimeter of my eyes. It takes a minute or so for full absorption, and I never feel any irritation from or migration of the cream.

While both products are expensive, keep in mind that they last an astonishingly long time. Despite daily, consistent applications from each, my first tube of Vichy's Reti-C Eyes gave out after a commendable ten months, and my first bottle of Clarins' Sunscreen for Eyes stayed on my shelf for exactly one year. Needless to say, I've got my eye³ on both!

¹My methodology consisted of voraciously reading beauty blogs, of course <3.
²Jennifer Barnes, "Start with Vitamin A," www.skindeeplaser.com.
³Eh, eh, wink, wink? No, too much? Okay.

Rougeography: Tudor

2011-10-11T04:55:00.000-07:00

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

Pressed Eye Shadow N in M Brown 850 [$15]

{discontinued}

Cheek Color in Azalea [$24]
{discontinued}

Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Train Bleu [$24]

A bold, colorful, and modern headpiece [$162 via Jennifer Behr]
A layered pearl necklace [$380 via Miriam Haskell]

As a young girl, I would daydream about those ubiquitous 'Once upon a times'. It wasn't so much the pretty princesses or benevolent fairies as the quintessential Forest with a capital F that would appeal to me immensely. In nearly every tale, the forest is vast and mysterious, always the agent of incredible physical and psychical transformations.

I would become so engrossed in fairy tales, fables, or general YA fantasies, I'd find myself in trouble at school for secretly thumbing through chapter books under my desk. Later as an undergraduate, I began to pay more attention to symbols and tropes than actual historical contexts in European fairy tales from the 16th and 17th centuries, but the general fashion represented in these stories still subconsciously left an impression on me - anachronistic and jumbled of course, but an impression nevertheless, and one best described as generally belonging to the Tudor period as well.

The Tudor period, at least for the privileged few, was anchored in opulence. Glimmering, meticulously crafted jewels, hair tightly brushed back into snoods, fresh pearls draped over pale necks, and fitted silk gowns flourished for infamous figures like Anne Boleyn and Elizabeth I. While this particular Rougeography isn't a literal study of Tudor style, I found that translating it into a contemporary scheme was surprisingly simple.

For the eyes, deep lids are rich yet subdued, and Shu Uemura's Pressed Eye Shadow N in M Brown 850 fits this task perfectly. It's a muted gray with brown undertones, easy to blend with the ring finger. While this specific shade is not available anymore, all shadows in Shu Uemura's 'M' category are buttery soft and saturated without any uneven chalkiness.

To contrast the eye shadow, Laura Mercier's Cheek Color in Azalea is quickly swept over the outer edges of the face towards the temples. Azalea is a vivid grape-pink with the faintest traces of gold shimmer, and unfortunately, this beautiful color is also discontinued. However, Plum Radiance or Rose Bloom should work equally well.

Finish the look off with a dramatic lip courtesy of Nars' Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Train Bleu. Depending on how heavy one's hand is, Train Bleu ranges from a berry stain to a midnight black. Whatever the result, it stays true to its name because Nars' matte lip pencils offer the most gorgeous, velvety colors. Pumped with Vitamin E, each manages to maintain a subtle matte without sacrificing dimension. Train Bleu - one of Nars' newest colors - is no different and is utterly made for dressing up, fairy tale princess or otherwise.

Of course, a Tudor scheme would not be complete without pretty hardware. Jennifer Behr's headpieces are truly works of art, her bright, clean lines often evoking Jeff Koons' canon. Her latest leather headband mimics a dinosaur's dermal plates, and its height complements the popular French hoods and diadems that adorned heads in the Tudor House precisely. To finish, a pearl necklace by Miriam Haskell would be sublime. With three cascading layers of glass pearls flanked by gold clasps, this rivière is classic costume jewelry. Delicate yet striking, it's a literally brilliant accessory for a night on the town - or is it in the forest?

Rougeography: Thayers & Duchess Marden

2011-10-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to introduce the little sister to Rougeography, a kind of marginalia I call Bit of Rouge. This new addition will closely review a particular product(s) I'm indulging in and verily treasuring at the moment. I hope you'll find my observations useful and enjoyable!¹

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

Roses belong to an ancient alchemy of the skin. The scatter and extraction of their petals yield a kind of watery geomancy that is at once soothing and stimulating. Long revered for its antiseptic touch, rose oil (and its byproduct rose water) was and continues to be a natural answer to dryness, rough textures, and acne.²

After years of suffering through teary, hormonal trial-and-errors over my stubborn combination skin, I've happily discovered that any skincare product boasting rose water as a core ingredient often works for my complexion. Two in my permanent rotation are Thayers' Alcohol-Free Rose Petal Witch Hazel Toner with Aloe Vera ($9.95) and Duchess Marden's Damascena Pure Rose Water ($25.00).

Packaged in a clear plastic bottle with a charming nod to its mid-19th century origins - think frilly, "olde tyme' Western saloon - Thayers' Alcohol-Free Rose Petal Witch Hazel Toner (phew!) is packed with aloe vera, vegetable glycerin, rose water, citric acid, vitamin E, and witch hazel at a generous 12 fluid ounces. I use this after cleansing my face in the evening as it thoroughly removes any residual traces of pollution, dirt, or makeup. The rose fragrance is acidic and potent, but pleasant nevertheless. The hydrating effects are so lasting, I sometimes even forget to apply moisturizer afterwards. Thayers just softens my skin so well.

Duchess Marden's Damascena Pure Rose Water similarly makes my face supple to the touch. Bottled in a heavy frosted glass capped with gold hardware, its visual aesthetic reimagines the royal East India Company in a modern context, the extravagance of its gold swirls balanced by sufficient white space. Concocted from rose water, rose oil, and honeysuckle extract, the dearth of ingredients in this mild-scented spritz is rather impressive and palpable: my skin always feels incredibly fresh and purified when I gently apply it in the morning, and there isn't any stickiness. To extend the shelf life of Duchess Marden's 1.96 fluid ounces, I cautiously mist it on a dampened cotton square and proceed to swipe in upward motions, the velvety skin left behind truly well-worth the effort.

¹A friendly reminder that the products I love and swear by may not necessarily be your right fit.

²Andrea Grant, "Therapeutic Benefits of Roses," www.rosemagazine.com.

Rougeography: Broadway

2011-09-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

Long-Wear Cream Shadow in Malted 17 [$22]

'Aqua Eyes' Eyeliner in 24L [$18]

'Lipsurgence' Natural Matte Lip Tint in Exposed [$24]

False Lashes in Slant Black [$21]

A pair of pretty blue ballet flats [$128 via J. Crew]

Tickets to a Broadway musical!

A shiny patent leather wallet [$120 via Ted Baker]

When I was younger, my grandmother took me to see Broadway musicals as much as possible. She grew up during the Great Depression, an era in which going to the city or to a movie equaled the privilege of dressing up. The habit stuck, and my grandmother always took care to primp herself to the nines when we'd trek to the Orpheum in San Francisco. Together we watched Phantom of the Opera, Cats, Rent, and many other plays or operas.

I owe much of my obsession with theater to her, so the theme of today's Rougeography is in honor of our special time together.

For me, getting ready for the theater always meant a polished look + comfort.

The makeup is simple, and the outfit comfortable. The hair isn't be fussy either and instead, tightly coiffed into a wide mid-bun.

Bobbi Brown's Malted Cream Eye Shadow is wonderful on the lids - light and creamy with just the right amount of slip. It's fool-proof to pat on, and the brown undertones to the pink creates such a glow effect. Paired with a feathery swipe of Makeup Forever's 'Aqua' Waterproof Eyeliner in Taupe and finished with Shu Uemura's Slant Black Lashes, the result is a stunning, bright doe-eye.

The lip is treated to a generous back-and-forth of Tart's 'Lipsurgence' Natural Matte Lip Tint in Exposure. The color is a warm mauve, like a milky-coffee-pink, and I absolutely love it. Exposure is the lip equivalent of Malted, as it's easily wearable for any occasion. All the tints in this line are moisturizing without the shine, and the brief peppermint scent left on the lip is actually refreshing!

Overall, a scheme of monochromatic nudes with a punch of dramatic lashes + a cashmere cardigan, riding pants, and sturdy suede ballet flats would work just perfectly for a trip out to the theater. Add the Ted Baker wallet with the classic kiss-lock closer to safely hold your tickets and cash to purchase the snacks during intermission, and you're set for an awesome time in which rules about fooling around on your cellphone during the performance are actually enforced. Oh, how I wish I could go right now! The Book of Mormon, I beg of you to come out to SF!

Fauxthentic

2011-09-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled upon an article Nathan Jurgenson wrote on his site, Cyborgology, called "The Faux-Vintage Photo". It's divided into three sections, and I highly recommend you read every part. It's a nice antidote to Simon Reynold's hand-wringing and "cultural vacuum" hysteria in Retromania, even if both do come to similar conclusions.

{Fig. 1 Image via Sinan Kotan}

Primarily using Instagram and Hipstamatic as examples, he offers great insight into the notions of nostalgia and authenticity, especially as they come into friction with present-day technologies like blogging and mobile apps. In a digital environment where minutes seem to pass quicker and everyone can seemingly attain their 15 bytes of fame, Jurgenson suggests that social media users are grasping for the real, for what's considered (or imagined to be) traditional - like the Polaroid.

He writes:

The faux-vintage photograph is self-aware of itself as document. If regular photos placed on Facebook walls document that we exist, the faux-vintage photo is this but also more than this: it is also a reference to documentation itself. This double document–a document of documentation–becomes further proof that we are here and we exist.

The caveat, however, is that faux-vintage photos start to all look the same, defeating the desire to replicate authenticity to begin with. Still, I suppose that's a given with any trend, and I'm keen on seeing what's next in the world of photographic documentation in social media. Kinda want Purikura to make a legit comeback.

Update!

2011-09-21T02:24:00.000-07:00

Just so it's out there: many of my blog elements are under construction at the moment, so it's a bit wonky here at A Fevered Dictation. I have to fix the navigation buttons, text formatting, blog header, and fill in some pages.¹

It's hella² exhausting, but I'm pleasantly surprised by how rewarding it is to do all the drawings/designs and html tinkering by myself.
In the meantime, here's a gratuitous picture of Leyla, my mother's ridiculous Bichon Frisé, pretending to be a pillow:

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

¹I'm ~~probably~~ sure I'm forgetting something.
²You can take the girl outta Norcal but...

Rougeography: Fall {Intro}

2011-09-19T04:08:00.000-07:00

In my free time - if I'm not reading the latest articles on digital and social media or loafing about online with my mother's sassy Bichon Frisé in tow - I often like to revisit and reorganize my vanity.

The process is soothing. It's calming. My eyes feast on myriad textures and hues while I palm the weighty silver, black, and gold compartments laid out before me. I internally catalogue what I have, mark what I won't repurchase, and note what gaps in my routine I'll be seeking to fill later.

I'm not invested, financially or otherwise, in surreptitiously pushing any brand on my blog, and I'm not suggesting I have the knowledge and skills of a makeup artist either. In addition to suggesting beauty methods I've learned over the years, I merely wish to exalt tools and products that happily work for me without the presence of a sponsorship or commercial ad. And the incredibly contradictory process in which people can negotiate their gender, race, sexuality, self-worth, security, measure of happiness - and not to mention, quite literally, their face - through a marriage of cosmetics and willful/unwilling performativity is very fascinating, frustrating, and beautiful to me.

Most of all, I find that faces are intuitively mediated as stories. Every wrinkle, blemish, crevice, and freckle - and conversely, every attempt to obscure or enhance them - express who we are or who we wish to be to the world, and I hope to add to that collective narrative with my humble offering of sketches.

So while this space isn't primarily reserved to discuss beauty, I'm carving out a little corner anyway. I'm excited to share some of my thoughts on looks, products, and other beauty-related items in what will henceforth be known as Rougeography, a series of beauty maps that plot out real product swatches, product links, and style schemes I'm dreaming of and coveting via homemade watercolor sketches.

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

'Stay All Day' Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner in Black [$20]

'True Color' Eye Shadow in Riverstone [$30]

Blush in Desert Rose 15 [$24]

Velvety Matte Lip Crayon in Blossomy Nude 04 [$7.99]

A pair of Herringbone Boots [$258 via Anthropologie]

An abundance of deliciously crunchy autumn leaves

A vintage felted cloche hat, preferably in burgundy

Fall is absolutely my favorite season because I begin to feel energy slip into my body. The slight dip in temperature sends me into a tizzy. My brain opens up and takes a stretch, and my spirit leaves the lethargy of a stifling hot summer behind. The air turns crisp, impossibly bright leaves canvass the ground, and the warm scents of apples, cinnamon, and honey continually waft around me. Oh, September...

When autumn approaches, several keywords and phrases come to mind, like hunter green, plaid, museums, hot tea, fur-trimmed jackets, vintage paperbacks, and knee-high boots. These fancies are complemented with clean, bare-skin, and especially with thick, slightly-arched brows. Heavy mascara is skipped in the beginning of the season, and a trusty eyelash curler to create subtle curves is reached for instead.

Next, Riverstone from Le Métier Beauté, a finely-milled summer red with light brown undertones, is gently swept over the entire lid and finished with a jet-black cat eye look that's so striking yet minimal. I love how Stila's waterproof eyeliner pen does the job effortlessly. There's no tug, and the pressure is perfectly calibrated.

Bobbi Brown's Dusty Rose Blush is brushed on in quick swirls on the apples - a shade of dark pink that I've found flattering for any skin tone - and the look is finished with a thick layer of Blossomy Nude Lip Crayon from Sonia Kashuk. The rose pigment is incredibly saturated yet forgiving, unlike many berries or reds. I'd always wear this shade whenever I'd attend a lecture or seminar, and I'd feel put-together immediately afterwards. Fall has arrived, but alas, school is no longer routine for me. Strange feeling, but I'm going to embrace it as best I can anyway.

D..u...s....t.....swept

2011-09-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

{Fig. 1 Image of Chisa Yomoda from Serial Experiments Lain via Quicheisinsane}

Donna Haraway’s seminal essay, The Cyborg Manifesto, is a hypnic jerk to the senses. It's a textual rendering of Chisa's rebirth to the Wired that suggests users to plug into the cybernetic impulses thrumming within us collectively. For Haraway, the past is a burden, and the promise for a postwhatever system that engages in the present is too great an ideal to dismiss.

But snipping at the heart of her argument is a coded rearticulation and near-fetish of popular mixed race fantasies of mestizos and mulattos - of mongrels. Because we are bastards¹ and sneaks who can pass,² but because we are also the embodiment of a map towards progress, our bodies to be read literally as transgressions of constricting labels.³

And while I understand that I may be doing exactly what Haraway critiques - framing her ideas through dualisms and in the process, reifying those painful either or's - I'm compelled to wonder: what’s wrong with doing that?

Because categories are history and incomplete and that's who we are. We're beyond discussing how race is a social construction because we've filed it away and made it come true, with or without our consent. Haraway writes that “The cyborg would not recognize the Garden of Eden; it is not made of mud and cannot dream of returning to dust,” (151) but Carolyn Steedman argues that that same dust gives us a palpable, visceral power because dust is inescapable memory.

Dust is a physical trail, a validation of one’s existence – to sweep dust under is to threaten its imprint on history. The dust, the categories, of the cyber subaltern can also be, and often is, a repository for beautiful things and experiences and moments of pride, or love, or empowerment.

Dust cannot be swept under the rug, it only shifts. It's immortal.

¹"the illegitimate offspring of militarism and patriarchal capitalism..." (151)
²"The stakes in the border war have been the territories of production, reproduction, and imagination. This chapter is an argument for pleasure in the confusion of boundaries and for responsibility in their construction." (150)
³"Cyborg imagery can suggest a way out of the maze of dualisms in which we have explained our bodies and our tools to ourselves. This is a dream not of a common language, but of a powerful infidel heteroglossia." (181)

Mumbai & The Twitter Imaginary

2011-09-10T02:08:00.000-07:00

{Fig. 1 Image by Gaurav Mishra via www.gauravonomics.com}

Measuring newness and the technological imaginary are two ideas UWE Bristol emeritus professor Martin Lister interrogates in New Media: A Critical Introduction, and they immediately brought to mind 2008’s coordinated bomb attacks in Mumbai. News and information of the tragic event spread most rapidly through Twitter, and, as a case study, it perfectly illustrates how “older media ‘refashions themselves to answer to the challenges of new media’.” (47-8)

People around the globe, especially diasporic Indian communities, preferred the instant access Twitter updates offered from the witnesses physically present in Mumbai to their television, directly forcing many networks operating in India to compete for, and ultimately lose, viewership; resigned, some news shows eventually added hash tags ¹ for the first time in their news ticker.

Moreover, this relatively recent technological phenomenon demonstrates the frenetic negotiation of national identity as prompted by new media in response to old media ² failing to satiate a (non)citizen's need to at least feel as though he or she has open access and choice. In resistance to corporate-owned capital like CNN, MTV, or STAR TV dominating airwaves, users had and are still seeking new and more meaningful ways to globally connect to one another in their imagined community,³ and they often do so on the Internet – as Lister writes, “the concept of a technological imaginary draws attention to the way that (frequently gendered) dissatisfactions with social reality and desires for a better society are projected onto technologies as capable of delivering a potential realm of completeness.” (67)

This isn’t to gratuitously laud Twitter as a kind of immaculate media source or to posit this mode of citizen journalism at an even higher level than government/corporate sanctioned journalism – all the same, however, this technological shift highlights the innate, human need to create content in a manner and form reflecting a community’s - even if imagined - own tongue... and even if the sounds come from the tweets of a little bird.

¹A type of user-friendly code categorizing tweets under a particular subject to map out trends, e.g. “#mumbai” or “#mumbaifamilies”.
²Namely state-controlled Doordarshan.
³Benedict Anderson's famous social theory is especially apt, given how Twitter was used by exilic Indian nationals to not only inform one another about Mumbai, but to swiftly and fiercely forge a nationalist identity in the framework of a crisis as well, geographic distance be damned.

Hello 2.0

2011-09-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

{Fig. 1 Image from personal collection, 2011}

I suppose some updates are in order. Since my previous post, I have:

1) Earned my M.A.
2) Traveled to Israel.
2) Moved back to the Bay Area temporarily as my husband was awarded a Fulbright Research grant!
3) Furiously looked for work.¹
4) Not improved my ability to count.

I acknowledge that these are weak excuses for poorly maintaining my blog, but the operative word here is maintaining because I have been reading and writing lots and saving posts as drafts during this unofficial, self-appointed sabbatical of mine. Given that my husband and I will now be living apart for a bit, this blog will also serve as a vehicle for us to touch base² with each other aside from more regular, intimate, digital modes like Facebook or Skype. So I'm happy to announce to an audience of no one that I'll be revisiting each to publish here, and I'll be simply writing more.

Good.

¹Still am.
²Not like that, pervs.

Customized Fantasy

2010-05-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

This is a television ad for Lancôme's perfume, Trésor, starring the venerable British actress, Kate Winslet:

Filmed in Paris on a very pretty iron bridge called the Pont des Arts, Winslet's print and television campaign for Lancôme ran during the fall of 2007. When I first viewed this commercial, I was mesmerized. I loved the absence of speech, the flow of the camera. I was rendered stunned by the softly-lit screen and the swelling of the music. Its cinematography is simple, restrained, and I, too, was somehow caught in the couple's passionate embrace.

Corny? Yes.

But very real for me. I had so desperately wished for the reunion with my husband coming home from Iraq to be exactly like this commercial: clean and sophisticated, replete with a score of violins around us, only us. Instead, it was wet and sunburnt and clumsy. Because I was sobbing. Because it was stifling hot on a crowded, asphalt base. Because he was overwhelmed.

Instead, we shared a potent fragrance of anxious perspiration beading in our rushed and very public hug, a custom blend of rose and apricot blossom notes noticeably missing.

Prototypical Hapa Narrative: A Reflection

2010-05-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

The impetus for Prototypical Hapa Narrative¹ emerged out of a disappointment from the dearth of carefully-crafted, critically-minded digital Hapa stories (especially on YouTube) that moved beyond the corporeal, that perhaps didn't dismiss, but didn't wallow around the intersections between individual phenotype and genotype either.

It formed out of a frustration my partner KMJ and I both had with artist and UCSB professor, Kip Fulbeck and his recent photo exhibition titled Part Asian, 100% Hapa. A series of portraits with an assortment of people self-identified as Hapa, the photos deliver his subjects as nude from the collarbone up and directly facing the lens. Their handwritten responses to that vague yet perceptibly pointed question "What are you?" rest below the image's frame.

The subjects' unfaltering gaze towards the viewer is, in Fulbeck's estimation, "celebrating Hapa awareness and identity - [a] reclamation of invisibility, ignorance, [and] pejorative labels".

But a gap between Fulbeck's intent to interrogate a viewer's prurient proclivity to racially demarcate and read a Hapa person's features and what actually transpires uncomfortably surfaces; because his portraits are creepy. They're clinical and futuristic and sanitized. They amount to a hyperbiological study of eugenicized bodies reminiscent of Life Magazine's 1941 article "How to Tell Japs from the Chinese."

{Fig. 1 Images via Kip Fulbeck}

{Fig. 2 Image via anthropology.net}

I acknowledge that there is real value in mediating a Hapa person's identity, multiple or not, through a literal framework of being seen through a still image or video because it is in response to a very real, historical tradition of deletion. I understand the desire to isolate Hapa celebrities from the crowd because it's in response to a historical tradition of hiding.

But neither gestures are enough.

A while ago, I eavesdropped on a couple thumbing through the book version of Part Asian, 100% Hapa at a gift shop. And as they cooed and reveled through each picture, I learned then that it is not enough to be visible. It is not enough to be written. It is not enough if a reaction like the couple's at the shop is the result of an exhibition like Part Asian, 100% Hapa or of the sea of navel gazing on YouTube; if the result of Fulbeck's subjects turn to mute and naked objects - mere models for a United Colors of Benetton catalog - reinscribing the same dominant narratives they had aimed to deconstruct.

I don't know what is, but it is not enough.

¹While I don't personally identify as Hapa for the same reasons Professor Wei Ming Dariotis outlines here, I applied the term in my project because the digital storytellers surveyed for this project use it themselves.

On Wikileaks & Collateral Murder

2010-04-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

"The only thing that's rare about the Apache helicopter killings is that we know about it and are seeing what happened on video.”
-Glen Greenwald, blogger and news analyst for Salon.com

“Maybe it was just a visual illusion, but it looked like it."
-Unidentified Apache helicopter soldier after a Bradley tank drove over a dead body.

{Fig. 1 Image via www.manchesterwired.co.uk}

On April 5, 2010, WikiLeaks, the nonprofit and self-described whistle-blowing website (in)famous for unveiling classified or confidential government and multinational corporate documents online without comprising an informant’s anonymity,[1] released two versions[2] of a decrypted July 12, 2007 aerial video and audio recording of US Army troops shooting and subsequently killing twelve Iraqi civilians[3] from two Apache helicopters in Baghdad, Iraq. Both videos, as well as a number of related still photos, videos, and PDF files, have been verified as authentic by the US Pentagon and are embedded in Collateralmurder.com, a web domain owned by WikiLeaks. Shortly after its issue, the US Pentagon and numerous media news sources, websites, and blogs began scrambling to cover this highly sensitive leak, endeavoring to make sense of the graphic documentary now readily available before them. What has followed in the roughly forty-eight hours since WikiLeaks published the video, titled Collateral Murder, has been a myriad of online discussions and commentary mired in a collective outcry of shock, rage, and condemnation of the unnamed and unseen soldiers in the video and of the operations the US military has executed in Iraq.

What’s conspicuously absent from this tangential moralizing, however, is a thoughtful probing of the power dynamics viscerally present between the producers and consumers of this visual artifact; mainly, what is at stake in this video? What is at stake for WikiLeaks, an organization described as a “repository of truth” by the British newspaper The Guardian, to frame raw footage obtained by several confidential military sources into a documentary short replete with cryptic quotes, subtitles, and narrative text screens?

In Professor Alex Juhasz’ 2010 Visual Research Methods course at Claremont Graduate University, she and her students, building on the work of Broderick Fox’s Documentary Media and Ilisa Barbash and Lucien Taylor’s Cross Cultural Filmmaking, had brainstormed what generally informs a visual project into the realm of the documentary genre: a documentary is a film that combines art with politics; it is a creative, often provoking, treatment of actuality, self-aware of the argument it’s making.[4]

Under this scope, Collateral Murder then is an expository documentary video. It presents grainy, black and white images, a grating soundscape of radio and gunfire, and, ultimately, the excruciating reality of twelve, gunned down Iraqi civilians. Save the radio communication between the unknown helicopter pilots and gunners (which itself is supplemented by subtitles), there isn’t any voiceover narration. All of the images are flanked by quotes from top government officials like Lieutenant-Colonel Scott Bleichwehl, an US Army spokesman, or by witnesses of the shootings, like AFP war photographer Ahmad Sahib, but none trump the Orwellian quote at the beginning of the documentary, powerfully eerie in its 11-second display punctuated by intermittent radio static: “Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” After a beat, the documentary resumes with 2 minutes and 47 seconds worth of text screens providing brief background of the footage,[5] photo stills of Namir Noor-Eldeen and Saeed Chmagh before they were killed in the assault, a photo still of Chmagh’s grieving son, a quote from a colleague of Namir and Saeed, and lastly, a reminder of WikiLeaks’ mission that also urges viewers to contact their group. Immediately following this series of informational texts are multi-perspective video shots of a group of Iraqi men, including Namir and Saeed, gathering, talking, and walking on a street in a neighborhood of Baghdad.

Overlapping the visuals is the audio recording of the Apache helicopter pilots. They’re talking with their fellow gunners about what they’re observing, confirming to one another that the small group is crowding around AK-47s and RPGs, equipment that were later discovered to be heavy, black cameras. At one point, a man from the group is documented as crouching by a building’s corner, peeking around it, and setting up a camera, behavior that the soldiers saw as proof of an insurgent loading a RPG. The soldiers receive permission from their higher-ups to kill the men below, and, after firing at the men, Namir is shown to be visibly wounded, crawling away to a nearby wall. Meanwhile, viewers hear the soldiers impatiently wishing for Namir to pick up a weapon in order to have “just cause” to kill him. In the next cutaway, a large van drives up to Namir, and several men rush out to help him and load him in. The soldiers are then heard again impatiently requesting permission to shoot the van next. After their request is granted, and the soldiers “light” up the van, the soldiers realize that two children had been waiting in the van and were injured as a result. The next scenes of Collateral Murder are of ground troops arriving to inspect the dead and the wounded children, eventually deciding to turn the latter into the custody of Iraqi police instead of transporting them to their own US base medical center. Towards the end, the documentary offers digital close-ups of certain shots, a move signaling and verifying the dead bodies of Namir and Saeed to viewers. And all throughout the video feed are the clearly impassive tones and laughter of the soldiers as they talk their way through the helicopter assault, substantial evidence for the WikiLeaks editors and for the majority of online viewers of the soldiers’ lust for indiscriminate killing.[6]

Though difficult to watch, Collateral Murder was not broadcast in a vacuum. The stated mission of this web-based group is to “expose unethical practices, illegal behavior, and wrongdoing within corrupt corporations and oppressive regimes in Asia, the former Soviet bloc, Sub-Saharan Africa, and the Middle East,” a goal that has since expanded to include any and every region of the world. WikiLeaks’ usual protocol is to publish an authenticated document anonymously submitted to them in a PDF file on their wiki-based website, complete with a WikiLeaks official letterhead graphic and a brief, formal introduction describing the document’s content. Most of all, every document is presented to the wired public in its untouched entirety and without relative fanfare, a fact that is mostly likely due to how WikiLeaks releases several materials every week.[7]

WikiLeaks’s documentary video, Collateral Murder, however, deviates from this model in several ways: first, while the WikiLeaks staff presents the full, tamper-free Apache helicopter video feed (albeit with an obligatory WikiLeaks mission statement preceding it), they nevertheless overshadow it - as evidenced by the sheer number of YouTube views - by emphasizing their own edited and truncated version. On the Collateralmurder.com website, the shorter version is placed atop the longer version, spatially guiding viewers as to which of the two videos to watch.[8]Second, the edited version is sporadically marked by superficially imposed visual aid to the video images the WikiLeaks staff inferred as too difficult or obscure for a viewer to decipher for him or herself; for example, a black arrow with text would appear over a dark mass of pixelations to signify that what viewers are seeing are either Namir or Saeed, or that what viewers are seeing is heavy camera equipment as opposed to RPGs and AK-47s. Third, the shorter version is preceded by, concluded with, and frequently interrupted by narrative texts and still photos complimenting the video content and by quotes taken from officials and colleagues related to the helicopter assault, yielding a conveniently-wrapped package of information for viewers to digest.

Furthermore, in an unusual move for WikiLeaks, hints leading up to and announcements about the April 5th launch of Collateral Murder were frequent on their official Twitter feed; for example, on March 23rd, 2010, WikiLeaks’ Twitter account wrote: “If anything happens to us, you know why: it is our Apr 5 film. And you know who is responsible” and “We have been shown secret photos of our production meetings and been asked specific questions during detention related to the airstrike”. Then again on April 1st, 2010, they tweeted: Classified video of killings to be released MONDAY 5 Apr US Nat' Press Club. Invitations: press-club@sunshinepress.org”, and on April 5th, 2010, “Video showing murder of Iraqi civilians and two Reuters journalists will be released at 16:00 UTC latest.”[9]

These pithy, titillating allusions were built and hyped up to the premiere of Collateral Murder, and all underscored a kind of Hollywood stylized production mode packed with production meetings and fervent new media campaigning.Interspersed throughout this media spectacle on both the WikiLeaks homepage and Collateralmurder.com are links to various resources providing context for the helicopter attacks, such as Rules of Engagement PDFs, transcripted or videotaped interviews with family of the deceased, and even hospital records and semi-nude pictures of the two injured children (older brother Sayad and younger sister Doaha) from the van. And strategically juxtaposed next to all these links are calls for donations to WikiLeaks in order to help resume their publications and wiki operations.[10]

The overall online consensus of Collateral Murder has been a thinly-veiled indictment of the soldiers involved in the Apache helicopter attack and of the US government and military for not only their foreign policies in Iraq so far, but for their bungled attempts to cover up the video from the public to begin with, as well. Many users on news blogs and websites have commented on their shock in viewing such horrific images, but have also shared their feeling of validation the documentary short provided in that the American occupation of Iraq is morally wrong and evil. But requisite with this barrage of media and image information before us are important points that raise questions about verifiability (a minority of commentators contend that many of the men in the group were identifiably armed with AK-47s and have argued that though it’s briefly acknowledged at the beginning of the documentary, that fact is ignored in the visual aids superimposed by the WikiLeaks staff in Collateral Murder, manipulation (had the subtitles and visual markings on the video images not been there, the knowledge that Namir, Saeed, and the rest of the men were civilians and not insurgents would not have been so readily apparent, for either the soldiers in the helicopter or for the viewer at home), and degrees of consent (the photographs of Sayad and Doaha exposing their scars and injuries, which suspiciously resemble Christian charity commercials for children living in the Third World, troubles that tenuous line between an intervention and an invasion).

What has emerged in the leak of Collateral Murder is WikiLeak’s own blatant violation of their rule for showcasing material in its most unadulterated and authentic form for public consumption. Dona Schwartz, in her essay “Professional Oversight”, writes that “The logic supporting new imaging policies proceeds from the assumption that technology is neutral but human users may introduce bias…therefore photographers…who prepare images for publication are expected to limit their own intervention…”[12] In extending this position to also include publishers, it is clear then that this expectation to consciously restrain bias was not apparently set for the WikiLeaks staff themselves, at least concerning the preparation of this one particular visual document. All of this then raises the question: why would WikiLeaks stray from their usual pattern and imprint their hands so obviously over this video? Why has WikiLeaks created a documentary from a video?

To visit Wikileaks.org is revealing in itself. Once a thriving archive storing thousands of timely and incriminating documents organized in an easy-to-navigate wiki system, the site is now stymied to a single page featuring a meager twelve documents. More than half the page stresses WikiLeak’s rapidly depleting finances, calling for donations and setting up links for different ways to do so. Because they solely function as a nonprofit organization with a yearly budget of $600,000, and because their site has received a high number of site traffic in the past two years, WikiLeaks is now subjected to a suspension of access and can only vaguely promise users a re-launch eventually. If the idea that a group of largely anonymous people appropriating and publicly redistributing secret material from our respective governments and multinational corporations isn’t enough to sustain their mission, it’s easy to see why WikiLeaks has resorted to presenting a document in a manner that actively defies it: mere existence. Without the financial backing necessary to continue their massive undertaking of taking on massive, institutionalized injustices head-on, WikiLeaks cannot move in any direction but literally down. The dearth of money for WikiLeaks persists as a very real, material threat, warranting immediate action for the staff to make creative decisions - to begin a different kind of framing - for their publications, the result of which is now evidently visible in the documentary, Collateral Murder.

That this development is problematic for an organization that had quickly constructed its reputation as embodying the severe, unrelenting, and objective interrogator of corruption is a given: for what breathes outside their new framing? What’s incongruously veiled in their unveiling? To parse these questions, it would perhaps be helpful to approach the work of Roger Sandall, an Australian film theorist and anthropologist. In his essay, “Matters of Fact”, he explores the manner in which “reality graphics”, or record-keeping devices like a photograph or video, vacillate and negotiate their terms of subjectivity and objectivity. The former, he argues, is often privileged because it’s perceived “that wherever cameras are employed we find information and misinformation and disinformation inextricably combined.”[13] Writing and signs matter, and there are truths, not truth. The facsimilizing of our world in order to more accurately learn objective realities has led to “subjective confirmation”, producing, in the case of a documentary at least, a situation where “the extrinsic purposes of the filmmaker [may or may not preserve] the grain of original identities…[and] the intrinsic meaning of the original event [may or may not] survive…”[14] From this gap, one must then wonder what events occurred in the moments before the Apache helicopter video recording began or what was spoken at minute 18 or minute 40. One must wonder whether Sayad and Doaha, the only survivors of the military assault, upon viewing Collateral Murder, would identify themselves from mere dots on the screen, and “that if asked, if given an opportunity to comment, [Sayad and Doaha,] the agents portrayed would themselves confirm and corroborate the meanings, the understandings, and the interpretations which the communicative forms and formats of film convey.”[15]

I wondered whether or not my husband could confirm and corroborate the political meanings communicated from the producers of Collateral Murder. As an ex-combat Marine who had deployed to Iraq three times, he was especially privy to the sort of violence represented in the documentary. We watched Collateral Murder together, but he didn’t know I was really watching him. Watching his dilated pupils. His strained breathing. His self-utterances of “Oh shit, oh shit, here it comes”. He was neither shocked nor enraged, but his reaction was palpably visceral; he was at once empathetic and disappointed about the choices the US Army soldiers made from their perch.

Guy Debord, in “The Society of the Spectacle” wrote that “Apprehended in a partial way, reality unfolds in a new generality as a pseudo-world apart, solely as an object of contemplation…The spectacle is not a collection of images; rather, it is a social relationship between people that is mediated by images.”[16] My husband’s interaction with this visual record, the millions of views on YouTube, and the thousands of comments expressing shock and disgust Collateral Murder generated certainly supports this notion. But it is exactly that collective, digital gasp that’s truly shocking about this media spectacle. A gasp that illustrates how self-containing and self-sanitizing we must be because the deadly misunderstanding in Collateral Murder is quotidian fare in Iraq, and was especially so in 2007. A gasp that becomes just as equally disingenuous as this documentary footage would most likely not have mattered to the American public, would not have even made a blip in MSNBC's Twitter feed, had the dead not counted among them the two photojournalists from Reuters, an European news service.

But most of all, a gasp that misses the ironies emerging from this visual event: first, that cameras are indeed weapons, as evidenced by the strategic manner in which the original Apache helicopter camera recording is now being used as a polemic against the US government and military industrial complex; and second, that WikiLeaks has engaged in the same methods that the many governments and militaries it would hyper-criticize have used themselves, giving an "appearance of solidity to pure wind."

[1] WikiLeaks was launched to the public in 2007, and, though it is hosted by a highly-armored server based in Sweden, the organization doesn’t have any official headquarters or offices. The website is overseen by a proxy news organization called The Sunshine Press with an advisory board consisting of various dissenters, journalists, and social media activists representing many different countries (“Wikileaks”.Wikipedia.org. Website. 5 April 2010).
[2] One version has been edited by the Wikileaks staff and stands at 17 minutes and 47 seconds, while the other is entirely unedited and stands at 39 minutes and 14 seconds. Both videos are subtitled and hosted on YouTube.com, with the shorter version garnering over 3 million views (versus 300,000 views of the longer version).
[3] Two of the Iraqi civilians killed were Reuters news staff: twenty-two year old photojournalist, Namir Noor-Eldeen and his forty-year old assistant and driver, Saeed Chmagh (“Resources”. Collateralmurder.org. Website. 5 April 2010).
[4] Jushasz, Alex. Class lecture. Visual Research Methods. Claremont Graduate University, Claremont, CA. 3 March 2010.
[5] A month after the helicopter attacks, Reuters unsuccessfully sued the US military for violating the Freedom of Information Act in their refusal to release the video. After consenting to an internal investigation, US military authorities concluded that the video simply showed soldiers rightfully engaging in a firefight with confirmed insurgents that had also resulted in collateral damage (Cohen, Noam and Brian Stelter. “Video Expands Notoriety of WikiLeaks Site”. The Seattle Times. 6 April 2010.)
[6] Some examples: “Come on, let us shoot!”, “Oh yeah, look at that. Right through the windshield! Ha ha!”, and “Well it's their fault for bringing their kids into a battle” (Collateralmurder.com).
[7] One concession, however: there is always some editing involved with every published document on WikiLeaks, if only because not doing so would potentially damage its public reception; for instance, watermarks are removed for visual clarity or an informant’s name/signature is blacked out to protect his or her identity.
[8] On the Wikileaks.org site, where most users visit before being directed to Collateralmurder.com, the second, longer version is not embedded on the homepage at all.
[9] http://twitter.com/wikiLeaks.
[10] “We have received hundreds of thousands of pages from corrupt banks, the US detainee system, the Iraq war, China, the UN and many others that we do not currently have the resources to release to a world audience…WikiLeaks is currently overloaded by readers” (WikiLeaks.org).
[11] Examples from the popular blog Boing Boing: “So... more war-crimes by the US military. Shameful. They did not have any reason whatsoever to "engage" that van. That was murder, and I will *NOT* accept any excuses” (livingdots) and “I'm sick of the "support the troops, protest the war" that plays on the guilt of servicemen “dying for our freedom”. If it wasn't clear at the time, it's perfectly clear now why we are there, and it is illegitimate and unjustified” (J France). Boing Boing. 5 April 2010. http://www.boingboing.net/2010/04/05/wikileaks-more-backg.html#comments.
[12] Schwartz, Dona. “Professional Oversight”. Image Ethics in the Digital Age. Minneapolis: Regents of the University of Minnesota, 2003. Pg. 33.
[13] Sandall, Roger. “Matters of Fact”. Principles of Visual Anthropology. Ed. Paul Hockings. New York City: Mouton de Gruyter, 1995.Pg. 458.
[14] Ibid. Pg. 465.
[15] Ibid. Pg. 466.
[16] Debord, Guy. “The Society of the Spectacle”. The Visual Culture Reader, Second Edition. Ed. Nicholas Mirzoeff. New York City: Routledge, 2002. Pg. 142

Supremacy in the Gay Kingdom

2010-02-24T20:15:00.000-08:00

I was initially confused by Halberstam’s critique of Boys Don’t Cry because I feel that even if the film's narrative eventually - perhaps abruptly - shifts from a transgendered perspective to a lesbian framework, the change is still theatrically significant as the movie was financially supported by mainstream Hollywood.

Nevertheless, there is a troubling undercurrent to what that shift signifies, and I think I can best sum it up with this clip from the horrible, inane Tyra Banks Show. Originally recorded on April 27th, 2009, Tyra and her producers came up with a so-called "social experiment" for the LGBTQQ community to participate in (ooh, what an honor). From the show's description, verbatim:

Watch as the members of the Gay Kingdom are forced to create a hierarchy and laws. Find out who ultimately gets banished from the community!

This blurb is yucky and terribly patronizing, but it did unintentionally accomplish something under the guise of sensationalist marketing: by highlighting the social inequities these participants are struggling to negotiate and navigate through (whether contrived by the producers or not), the myth of social unity and cohesion is undermined, complicating what it means to fully "belong" to a community that can often act like the very constraints they're resisting.

Reaction Videos: Viewing Viewers

2010-02-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

The focus of my video essay is on a relatively recent online phenomenon called reaction videos. Though the exact date is nearly impossible to verify, reaction videos first emerged around 2006 – 2007 on video sharing websites like YouTube.

Normally self-recorded on a webcam or videotaped by a family member or friend, these brief videos document the first-time reactions of an individual or a group to a shock site, which I define as a website that hosts an image or a video – normally of an obscure origin – that is extremely violent and/or sexually “deviant” (which essentially means non-heterosexual or fetishistic) in nature.

However, reaction videos aren't necessarily produced in reference to only shock sites. They can also record reactions to quotidian moments like the announcement of an American Idol winner or even to national events like the presidential inauguration of Barack Obama. Reaction videos don’t have to be immediate, either – they can be produced after the initial affair as a way for the user to reflect in a more measured and considerate tone.

What role, then, do reaction videos play online? And how are reaction videos a part of visual culture? I find that reaction videos play two major roles: 1) to enforce heteronormativity and 2) to suture individuals to the notion of nationhood.

Law professor Daniel J. Solove, in his text The Future of Reputation, writes that on the Internet, “Our reputations are forged when people make judgments based upon the mosaic of information available about us…Although we want some degree of control over our own reputation, we also want to know the reputation of others.” [30-1]

Reaction videos, for the most part, demonstrate to viewers not only what is inappropriate (through the guise of a titillating, purposefully ambiguous title), but what kind of emotional, so-called natural responses conversely are appropriate, too: hence, inserting a glass jar into your anus is not ok; neither is it to sexually play in fecal matter with a same-sex partner.

When users upload their reaction videos to websites like YouTube, and when viewers reciprocate by enthusiastically commenting on them, all actors are publicly controlling their reputations as determinedly “healthy”, heteronormative netizens.

Additionally, scholar Benedict Anderson, in his seminal work, Imagined Communities, writes that “[The nation] is an imagined political community…It is imagined because the members of even the smallest national will never know most of their fellow-members, meet them, or even hear of them…yet in the minds of each lives the image of their communion.” [6]

Although defining YouTube as one cohesive community is tenuous at best and an absolute lie at worst, it is nevertheless helpful to apply Anderson’s theory of an imagined community to the social practice of creating and viewing reaction videos. It is through YouTube’s very foundation in viewership and a commenting system that a digital artifact as a reaction video has been able to flourish to begin with: people imag(e)ine one another through a lens to witness events – despite its potential delay or cultural irrelevancy– simultaneously, together, thus creating a digital simulacra of a nation.

I can’t help but be reminded of a quote by Nicholas Mirzoeff in his essay, "The Subject of Visual Culture": “…the viewer sees the ostensibly private space of the photographer …the interiorized sensation of being monitored by a digital other is enabled by the self” [13] because reaction videos are an invitation to the public to see a private interior, and it is no accident that most, if not all, reaction videos are then situated inside the home, in a bedroom or living room.

Reaction videos allow us to watch strangers watch strangers on their laptop - on our laptop - and it is precisely this double-seeing, this digitized infinite recursion, that points to how a reaction video, in its literal framing, situates itself in visual culture.

Dear John: Just Go Away

2010-02-19T23:58:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, Professor Juhasz and I had a side conversation about Dear John, the latest Nicholas Sparks film adaptation chronicling the star-crossed relationship between a young college student (Amanda Seyfried) and a deployed combat soldier (Channing Tatum) through their letters to one another.

Later that evening, I extended our conversation to her blog and wrote:

I can't stomach watching this trailer because I don't want the devastating pain and trauma I experienced from my claustrophobic position in waiting for my husband to return from Iraq tidily packaged and edited for mass consumption.

Maybe I'm not giving enough credit to the young women and girls who will watch this - whom this movie was marketed to - but I loathe the idea that they'll come out of the theater longing for their "own soldier" to write letters to.

That kind of manufactured desire from an artificial separation as violent as war was not and never will be romantic.

Well, turns out I was giving enough credit because despite faring horribly among critics, the film is continuing steadily at the box office...

For Shame

2010-01-22T12:05:00.000-08:00

{Fig. 1 Image via www.disgrasion.com}

I like the blog, Disgrasian. I really do. Its two authors, Jen Wang and Diana Nguyen, are funny writers, hyperaware of the often absurd and fraught intersections of race and American pop culture.

And while I'm down to call out the questionable social behavior of Asian and Asian American figures and celebrities in a light yet insightful manner (lots and lots of snark on Disgrasian), the blog's main driving force is derived from and steeped in uninterrogated, highly unproblematized "race traitor/sellout" rhetoric, and that makes me an extremeley wary reader. Because really, what qualifies anyone to become the race-based moralist?

The subtitle of Disgrasian reads, "You're a disgrace. To the race." and inclusive/exclusive language abound in the majority of their blog posts, compelling one to ask: what are the definitions of disgrace, and conversely, grace? Who decides who's in or out, who's cheered or jeered, and on what grounds? How is race, as a concept or material reality, understood in this blog?

These questions should be tackled by Jen and Diana on the margins as, at the very least, a cursory glance for new readers, but are conspicuously not.

I suppose the joke throughout their text is that Jen and Diana consider themselves to be "disgrasians" as well, seeing how their dictionary of lingo commonly found on their posts define "Hardass Asian Parents" as: "Our mothers and fathers, whom we, despite our achievements and senses of familial duty, are usually disappointing," an entry I can safely assume as meant to jokingly describe their own experiences as Asian American bloggers.

I don't know - maybe I'm being a tad too sensitive¹ or maybe I'm projecting my own insecurities. But Disgrasian does trigger annoying memories of being shamed and judged² for not performing "correct" Asianness, arbitrary standards exaggeratedly upheld by my Asian American peers in middle and high school merely because of my mixed race heritage.³

I just don't need to be reminded.

¹Bleh, I hate this dismissive qualifier.
²"Ohemgeee, you hold chopsticks funny!"
³This isn't to say I have never experienced similar treatment from non-Asian Americans either.

Freckled Skin, Digital Masks

2010-01-21T23:03:00.000-08:00

When I was twelve, I created my first email account. I thought up the screen name TulipJulie, delighted that I didn't have to resort to TulipJulie123 or something similar.

I didn't particularly fancy tulips or any kind of flower for that matter, but I specifically chose the tulip because of its typographic potential: if the stem of the t flipped left and the stem of the p curved right, Tulip transformed to Julie.

And it was always about transformation. 12 to 24. Introvert to CAPS LOCK. Person to troll. Bytes of me spread thin - fantastically, horribly, irrevocably - over a kind of public that doesn't sleep and never dies.